Never Give Up
Often times I have this longing to write. Usually in the form of a song or a blog post. It doesn’t really matter. I sometimes wonder why I have the urge to write. I think it’s a way for me to try and figure out this life. Every day I think about purpose. Life. Existence. What all of it means. How can we, as humans, comprehend the vastness and complexity of life. And yet, here I am, believing in something bigger than myself. Writing about something bigger than me. It’s liberating, really.
Every day I take a step closer to the end of my existence, and I am plagued with more and more questions. Will I ever see my dreams come true? What am I going to do if they don’t? Does God hear my cries? Questions that I have no answer to, and I may never have an answer to. That certainly doesn’t stop me from looking high and low for them. Sometimes I look in the past. But all I see is a boy fearless because his dreams feel so far away. He feels like he has so much time to accomplish all the things he wants. And then I realize where I am now and I see the dirty second hands ticking against me every day. How much longer will it be like this?
It’s easy to compare our lives to others to fit our needs. When we’re dissatisfied with our jobs, school, etc we just think “well at least I’m not homeless,” or “at least I have a job,” and we just keep spinning in circles. We also look at people in places we want to be and feel envious. Why can’t we be where they are in life? How did they get there? The problem with this kind of thinking is simply that others do not have your life. Your life is yours and yours alone. You don’t have to feel, think, or do as other people do. You have your own purpose and your own plan to fulfill.
I struggle greatly with moving forward. Fear begins to grow in my mind like a virus and I just want to give up. I want to take an easy way out. And then I remember that it’s all a lie. No amount of money, security, or comfort, will ever fulfill me. God and follow His plan for my life is the only thing that will fulfill me. Sometimes I’m completely sure of God’s plan for my life. Then other times I’m not sure at all. I think I have this idea in my head of when things should happen and sometimes that may not coincide with God’s timing. It’s my job to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and moving forward. Sometimes it’s pitch dark and I have no idea where I’m going, but I have to keep moving forward. I have to keep trying. You will never hear about the guy who gave up. No one remembers him. I don’t want to be that person. I want to fulfill God’s plan for my life and see it through until the end. I want to never give up.
